Lock In! The Dream to Reality Pipeline
Your dreams don't have to stay dreams
In my husband’s vows on our wedding day, he said, “You showed me that dreams don’t have to stay dreams”. In that moment, I felt truly seen. My husband has seen me live by the philosophy that anything you desire, you can work towards. He has witnessed firsthand my dogged determination, strong will, and ability to stay the course of turning my dreams into reality. Every. Single. Time.
When life gets murky, it can be easy to lose sight of your identity and sense of self. If you’re lucky, you’d have someone else to remind you da f** who you are. I’m fortunate and grateful to have loved ones who believe in me and act as my magic mirror, showing me my true reflection when life’s murkiness blurs my vision.
Today, let me be your magic mirror to remind you of your inner strength and encourage you to keep going, even when your dreams seem out of reach.
The Dream to Reality Pipeline
A big dream can feel intangible and out of reach, but it is not. Think of your biggest goal, your most daring dream, and the thing you want most. How do you take that dream and turn it into a reality? Some people start with a meticulous plan. They draw a 5-year plan, a 6-month plan, and even break it down into smaller weekly or daily goals. This is a practical and necessary approach.
But this is not what I am writing about today. Today, I am writing about the intangible but very powerful actions that can either propel you full steam toward your goals or keep you stagnant with your dreams fading into the background of your life.
I’ll break down what I have identified as the tenets of a dream-to-reality pipeline.
No Quiet Desperation
The mass of men lead lives in quite desperation- Henry David Thoreau.
In his quote, the 19th-century philosopher Henry David Thoreau is referring to unfulfilled desires and dreams that many harbor without doing anything to try to fulfill those desires. It sounds counterintuitive. Why would you be desperate for a thing but not act?
Yet, many of us find ourselves in this conundrum more times than we would like.
We care too much about what other people think, so we waste time seeking validation from society or people in our lives, even when that validation comes at the expense of our true calling.
We act without intentionality and divide and dilute our attention and focus. We go about our days doing just about anything but what our heart aches for.
You have to stop acting against your self-interest if it means ignoring your calling. Think, what is the thing you want to do but are so afraid to go after? Where do you go in your head when you want to imagine a perfect scenario for your career, your art, your life? That is your quiet desperation. Start taking steps to bring those scenarios from dream into reality.
Trust your Gut Instincts and Inner Compass
Your intuitions are the foundations of your authentic self.
What is it about our intuition that speaks so clearly, yet is the most often doubted and ignored?
I think we are indirectly trained and influenced — by society, upbringing, culture, or core negative experiences — to ignore our instincts and instead look to external sources for direction.
We quiet our inner voice because it's easier to follow external direction, as it absolves us of taking true ownership of the outcome. If anything, we get a nod of approval and validation from the person or systems whose direction we are following at the expense of our inner compass. And if we fail or misstep, we don’t feel truly responsible because we never had real ownership of our actions.
It's a cushy place to be when you never act on your instincts and instead go along with the crowd.
Your gut knows which path to take, what to choose, and the decision to make. Sometimes it can tell right away. A lot of us have learned to quiet our gut and clog it with loads of information, varying opinions, over-preparation, procrastination, catastrophization, and fear.
The more you follow your instincts, the clearer it speaks, and the more confident and intentional you get. You learn to trust yourself more. You can know for yourself what theories to test, what risks to take, what decisions need to be paused, and what priorities will lead to your North Star. You’re able to move faster, recover from mistakes faster, and self-correct if something goes wrong.
This brings me to my next point.
Move Fast and Avoid Decision Paralysis
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”Suzy Kassem
Mistakes are inevitable. No matter how much you prepare, how many times you ‘double-check’, and how strictly you try to cross your Ts and dot your Is, mistakes will happen. When you delay action, waiting until things are perfect, waiting until you are ‘ready’, you are delaying the fulfillment of your dreams.
Once you start, you get the opportunity to make the mistakes that are typical of every journey. Waiting for everything to be perfect before you start will not prevent future mistakes. Mistakes are how you know what not to do, and knowing what not to do is what will take you from amateur to expert.
You can’t become an expert from day one. Preparation can only get you so far. Doing is what gets you to the finish line.
You want to be an author? Well, you’re going to have to write some terrible first drafts. Want to be a dancer, you need to get comfortable with looking silly and falling a few times. Want to expand your network? You might need to get through a number of awkward conversations at events and send some cringeworthy emails, and then you get better at it. The only real way to master something is to do it.
Experimentation leads to a breakthrough. Once you start to act, your fear shrinks and your anxious thoughts quiet.
Instead of sitting, worrying, and feeling helpless, you can start now. Once you start, you don’t feel so helpless anymore.
Stay the Course
“Stick to your mission, not your mood” - Anonymous
A crucial tenet of the dream-to-reality pipeline is the principle of consistency. Without consistency, you cannot build momentum, and you cannot change your reality.
The change you desire is on the other side of patience. It can be daunting to stay consistent when results don’t seem to be coming at the pace you expect, but I encourage you to believe in the process and continue to do the work that gives you meaning. Don’t get discouraged because the results aren’t coming as quickly as you had expected. Stay disciplined and stay consistent.
!Lock In! Avoid Instant Gratification
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
The ‘Lock-In’ mantra has become my new favorite prompt to keep me motivated. Locking in is all about character and discipline. Discipline starts with setting a standard for yourself and committing to living up to those standards every day. Create a code and live by it. Every day, do something, no matter how small, that aligns with the person you want to be. That is what it means to live a life of intentionality.
Every time you give in to instant gratification, procrastination, and an ‘I’ll start tomorrow’ mindset, you’re choosing to live in quiet desperation. And the more you put off being disciplined, the more irritable you get and the emptier you feel.
You feel empty because your choices do not align with your goals. And every minute you remain in this state, your disappointment in yourself grows.
And I speak from experience when I tell you: it is a dreary reality to live in. A reality where you are disappointed in yourself, to have that pit feeling in your gut when you see someone doing what you know you can do. To constantly have that nudging unease that you are not living your truth, not giving your best, not putting yourself out there.
Prep for the life you want. Focus on your goal with determination, commitment, and consistency. Lock in, baby lock in!
Do not kill your dreams with a thousand tiny cuts of “I’ll start tomorrow”.
What other principles of the dream-to-reality pipeline do you have? Share below or email me, I want to hear about your experiences.
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Keep-in-mind Quotes:
“Do the thing you think you cannot do.”- Eleanor Roosevelt
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”Suzy Kassem
Quote from me: Your intuitions are the foundations of your authentic self.
Links I sent my friends:
The internet is a deluge of information, and I think a bit of curation from sources you trust or like goes a long way. Here are three things worth checking out
Aspect Ratios with Sinners Director Ryan Coogler (Video)
There is something inspiring and pure about seeing Coogler nerd out on his craft. We often get caught up in the glam and tinsel of Hollywood, and seeing a director get back to the basics to teach his audience about film felt grounding and beautiful.
My Brother’s Keeper - NYTimes opinion piece by Ocean Vuong
I’m currently reading Vuong’s novel - on Earth we are briefly Georgeos. His writing is poetic, and his reflection on his worldview and family dynamics is beautiful and haunting.
5 Questions with the Author of The Highly Anticipated Novel The Catch, Yrsa Daley-Ward
I interviewed the author of another fiction I love, The Catch. I got some really good advice for personal use from this interview. Read on Clever-ish.